


i'm sorry jregory

by orphan_account



Category: The Centricide (Webseries)
Genre: Multi, fuck you, i fucked ur mom
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-14
Updated: 2020-03-31
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:27:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23145409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: i mostly write banter fics but i need somewhere to dump all the horny stuff
Relationships: Ancap/Ancom, Ancom/Nazi, Right unity, authleft/authright, libleft/authright, libleft/libright
Comments: 13
Kudos: 114





	1. i can't think of a funny title

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> fem libunity except ancom is still nb and uses them/them pronouns

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wrote this because i couldn't think of any ideas for my main fic that's it.

"You want me to go to a party with you? Why?" Ancom leaned on one of the kitchen counters while they looked at Ancap with an unamused face. 

"You don't have any money, and you need to pay me back for all the drugs you," Ancap made quotation marks with her fingers, "'bought' from me. Minarchist bought a new mansion, and she invited me to a housewarming party. Of course, I could just buy a date, but why would I spend money when I can just take you?" 

"Fine. Whatever." Ancom shrugged. 

"You'll have to do your hair, though. You look like an angora rabbit." 

"Uh huh." Ancom furrowed their brows.

"And please take a shower. You smell like bong water and sweat." Ancap smiled and left the kitchen. 

"Whatever." 

**_____**

When Ancom got out of the shower, there were clothes folded neatly on their bed, which was the complete opposite of neat. When they were dressed, they put on the jewelry that was also sitting on the bed. All of it was gold, even the nose ring that Ancap was kind enough to include. 

The anarchist walked out of their room and knocked on Ancap's door. 

"Oh, Ancom. You don't look bad. That's good!" Ancap said after she opened the door. 

"Yeah. Why am I wearing a turtleneck with a sweater over it, and why am I wearing a skirt?"

"Layering is in fashion, that's not a turtleneck, it's a mock neck, that sweater is cashmere, and I can't let you wear a pantsuit. You know how much I hate Hilary Clinton." Ancap fixed Ancom's clothes like a disappointed mother. "You were supposed to tuck in the sweater. Don't you look at niche memes on Instagram? Don't you know these things?" 

"No, why would I do that? They're boring. I look underdressed compared to you, anyway." Ancom was very underdressed. Ancap's dress was floor length with a slit that showed off her right leg, and its straps rested off of her shoulders. 

"Lesbians... You can't take them anywhere..." Ancap grumbled. "You don't like fancy dresses, it wouldn't make sense to put you in one, would it? Maybe you should try thanking me." She looked at them smugly. 

"Not gonna happen." Ancom crossed their arms. 

Ancap laughed. "Of course. Now, let me fix your hair. You washed it, right?"

"Yep."

"So, why does it look worse?" Ancap motioned to her desk chair, Ancom sat down at it, and she began to straighten their hair. It was a lot longer than she thought it was. Ancom's hair was normally only long enough to reach her jaw, but now it almost reached their shoulders. "There. We're done." 

Ancom nodded. Getting their hair done actually felt kind of nice . They would have fallen asleep because of it if they weren't on Adderall. Ancap handed them a coat, and the two anarchists walked outside. "A limo?" Ancom pouted. 

"Stop complaining." Ancap patted their back. 

Ancom shifted around in her seat when the limo started moving. "Why did you make me put on fancy underwear?" 

"Why did you call panties underwear? Are you six?" 

"Oh, wouldn't _you_ like to know." Ancom crossed their arms. "I like wearing boxers. Why can't I just wear those?" 

"You can't wear boxers with tights, Ancom." 

"Whatever..." 

**_____**

The party was boring. At least, it was to Ancom. They were _very_ underdressed, and it was *very* obvious. They had spent most of it standing next to Ancap with an expensive drink in one hand that was always refilled by a waiter the minute they got close to finishing it. Ancap was always talking to another capitalist, and Ancom was uninterested by all of them. 

"Can we leave now?" Ancom asked when Ancap was done talking. 

"Of course not. We haven't gotten to the fun part yet?"

"What fun part?" 

Ancap pressed a button on her phone. "This." 

Ancom's face flushed. "What-- what the fuck did you do?" Did Ancap make them put on--

"Vibrating panties." Ancap smirked. "Fun, right? You're so cute when you're embarrassed like this. I'm really surprised you didn't notice it earlier." 

"Turn it off, asshole!" Ancom reached for the capitalist's phone. 

"Fine." Ancap turned it off. "You should be quieter, Ancom. You don't want to cause a scene, do you?" 

Ancom crossed their arms. "Fuck off." 

"Yeah yeah." 

Soon enough, Ancap was talking to another one of her friends. When Ancom went to shake her hand, Ancap pressed the button on her phone again. Ancom struggled to keep their composure, but they managed to and shot a glare at Ancap when the handshake was over. 

Ancap only smiled and turned it up, causing Ancom to blush more and look away from the two capitalists. 

“Ancap,” the other rightist began, “is your… associate okay?”

“Don’t worry about them, Hoppean.” Ancap pulled them close to her and increased the vibrator’s intensity. “Don’t you have poor people to throw into the ocean?”

“Yeah, whatever.” Hoppean walked away. “Degenerates…”

Ancom had been burying their face in Ancap’s chest to muffle their shaky breathing. When she turned off the vibrator, they stepped back and wiped their face.

“Were you crying, Ancom?” Ancap smirked while petting their head.

“No. My eyes were just watering. That was embarrassing. You’re an asshole.”

“Maybe.” 

Ancom held the hem of their skirt. “Can we leave now?”

“Why?”

“... I’m cold.” 

“Okay, coomer. We can leave.” 

Ancom pouted and followed Ancap out of the mansion and into the limousine. “Are you done, now?” 

“Nope!” Ancap chirped and turned the vibrator back on.

“Why!?” 

“I didn’t get to see you face when you came earlier.” She pulled Ancom onto her lap, but they looked away from her. 

“You won’t get to.” Ancom pouted. 

“Come on, kitten.” Ancap cooed while she took off her sunglasses. “Look at me.” 

Ancom’s face softened when their green eyes met Ancap’s violet eyes. 

“You’re so cute when you’re like this.”

“Whatever. Just give me more drugs when we get home.” 

“Sure.”

“For free.”

“Fine.” Ancap caressed Ancom’s face with one hand while she turned up the settings on the vibrator with the other. 

Ancom moaned breathily. They moaned louder when Ancap’s hand slid up their skirt and pressed into them. 

“You’re so wet, Ancom.”

“I-it’s your fault, d-dumbass.” They said between shaky breaths.

“Yeah, but even your tights are completely soaked.” Ancap whispered into their ear while she pressed into them again.

Ancom’s head was spinning. They could feel Ancap’s breath as she began to lick and lightly bite her ear. Their legs were trembling and they melted into her touch when the other anarchist held onto their waist to steady them. 

“Are you getting overstimulated, Ancom? You’re more sensitive than I thought.”

“I’m… not…“

“You’re not?”

“Can you just…” Ancom moaned. “…shut the fuck up and kiss me?”

Ancap complied, enjoying the moans that came from Ancom in between kisses while her hand traveled up their waist and onto their chest. 

“Hah..”

“Ancom, did you just cum again?” 

“Shut up, snake.”

“Coomer.” Ancap smirked as Ancom slid off of her lap. 

“You’ve been messing with me all night, but I haven’t touched you at all. I almost feel bad.” 

“Don’t worry about me.”

“Why? Did you cum without me touching you?” Ancom snickered. 

“No, I didn’t.” Ancap grew flustered.

“Coomer.” Ancom kicked off their shoes, took off the tights and panties, and threw them at Ancap. 

“What are you doing? We’re almost at the house?”

“I’m not keeping those on. They’re wet.”

“So, you’re just going to walk in without underwear on?” 

“It wouldn’t be the first time.”

**_____**

“Hello, Ancom. You look nice for once. Did a local charity give you clothes because they thought you were homeless again?” Nazi smiled as the two anarchists walked into the house. 

“Suck my dick, Nazi.” Ancom flipped her off and followed Ancap to her room. 

“You look tired. Should you really be doing drugs?”

“I’ll be fine. Just don’t give me any stimulants.” Ancom took off the skirt they were wearing and threw it in a corner. They pulled down their sweater and lied down on Ancap’s bed.

“Aren’t you going to put on your own clothes? Or your own underwear? Or even take a shower?”

“Nope!”

Ancap sighed. “You know where I keep my weed, right? I’m going to take a shower.”

**_____**

When Ancap went back to her room, Ancom was almost asleep. She sat down next to them and they rested their head on her lap. 

“Sleeping with pants on makes you gay.” Ancom muttered with their eyes closed.

“You’re gay, Ancom.” The capitalist ran her fingers through their hair, which was somehow a mess again.

“I didn’t say it was a bad thing.” They yawned. “I’m cold.” 

“It’s because you’re not wearing underwear.”

“Noooo… Hold me…” 

Ancap sighed. 

“Please…?”

“Fine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> proofreading this made me illiterate 
> 
> im /u/tea-is-lame on reddit
> 
> tea tastes like piss thanks for listening to my ted talk
> 
> i have more fics on my phone but idk if i'll post them  
> one is anfash and ancom calls nazi's dick small  
> i might post that one idk


	2. fucking fascists

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> anfash but ancom tops because i do what i want

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the first fic i wrote  
> when i was rewriting parts of this i couldn't take it seriously  
> so don't take it too seriously  
> also i'm very proud of the title

Ancom and Nazi found themselves alone in the house together. Ancap was busy stealing money from poor people, and Commie was in Siberia on a business trip.

Ancom walked into the living room to get high and watch Good Burger. Sure, it was capitalist propaganda, but it was fun to watch while they were high. But, to their dismay, Nazi was already sitting on the sofa. "Go away, Ancom. I'm watching a movie." 

Ancom smirked. "No. I don't think I will. What are you watching?"

"Oh, the usual." For Nazi, the usual was a WWII documentary, but he was skipping through most of it until he finally got to a clip of one of Hitler's speeches. 

Ancom was ready to yell at the fascist for watching the documentary for all the wrong reasons, but he noticed something strange. "Nazi, are you hard?" 

Nazi hadn't noticed the tightness in his pants until the anarchist had mentioned it. "Ah! No, I'm not. Only a degenerate would get an erection from watching another man! Even if it is someone as great as the fuhrer--" 

"Hey, shut up. Let me help you." Ancom sat on the couch next to Nazi and moved him onto their lap while he was off guard. "God, you're heavy..."

"Ancom! What the hell are you doing-- Ah!" 

"Shhh...." Ancom had begun to move one of his legs to grind against Nazi's clothed erection. 

Nazi panted as he fought the urge to grind against the anarchist's leg, but he gave in and Ancom enjoyed the lewd expression on his face. 

"Wow, Nazi. You must be really horny if you're grinding against your enemy's leg like a dog!" Ancom teased him. 

"Shut up..." Nazi struggled to speak in between each unsteady breath. "You started it..." 

"You already look like you're close, but I can't let you cum just yet." Ancom pushed the taller man off of him, pulled down Nazi's pants and underwear, and threw them aside. He lifted the fascist's legs, and sucked on his index and middle finger until they were coated in his saliva. Then, he began to stretch Nazi's hole. 

Nazi had never felt anything like it before. It wasn't the most comfortable thing, but he was fine with it if he imagined the fuhrer doing it instead of a whiny SJW. 

Ancom took a few pills that he had stashed in the pocket of his hoodie and untucked himself from his boxers. He wasn't wearing pants to begin with. "Are you ready?" 

Nazi nodded, and then he felt Ancom enter him. He inhaled sharply. Was he really doing this with Ancom?

"Fuck, you're so tight... Hey, Nazi. I wanna see your face. Can you get on top?" 

"Yeah... Whatever." Ancom pulled out and Nazi used the moment to catch his breath as the anarchist lied down with a lazy smile on his smug face. Nazi lowered himself onto Ancom's erection, slowly and carefully, but then Ancom thrusted into him and managed to hit his goose button. The fascist melted as a wave of pleasure washed over him. "Don't-- don't do that, asshole!"

"Isn't it funny that you're taller than me, but your dick is smaller?" Ancom giggled. 

"Shut the fuck up." Nazi looked down at the anarchist under him. Ancom had really pretty eyes, but it was hard to appreciate their deep green color because of how dilated his pupils were. "Are you high? Why would you get high? It's degenerate!"

"Yeah, but it's fun. If it's so degenerate, do you want me to stop?" 

"... No..." Nazi muttered. 

Ancom smiled. "That's good. Tankie never lets me top. Well, Ancap lets me, but I always have to pay him afterwards..."

"Can you just be quiet? I don't care.”

**______**

Ancom walked back into the living room, shaking their wet hair like a dog. “You should have let me take a shower with you.” 

“Why would I do that? It’s degenerate.” 

“What’s wrong with degeneracy?”

“It’s degenerate. That’s what’s wrong with it.”

“My dick was in your ass half an hour ago. Isn’t that degenerate?”

Nazi’s face flushed. “That doesn’t matter.” 

“God you’re repressed.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> goose button
> 
> god the fbi agent watching me has to be so confused


	3. ancom gets cucked

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> authunity babeyyyyyyy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> after i wrote this i walked backwards into hell and killed god with my presence alone

“Degenerates like Ancom belong on a cross.” Nazi said angrily. “I bet I could beat his ass. That’ll shut him up.” 

Commie laughed. “That’s very funny, comrade, but I do not think you could beat them up or anyone, for that matter.” 

“Of course I could beat up that shitty SJW. I’m stronger than I look.” Nazi said, taking a swig of vodka that he had stolen from Commie.

Commie laughed even more. “You sound like you’re drunk. You are not strong. You have small, weak noodle arms.” He took off his blazer and rolled up his sleeves. “These are the arms of a working man.” He said while flexing his left arm.

Oh, those _are_ the arms of a working man. Nazi caught himself staring for a little too long and looked away. “Whatever.” 

“Seriously. I could throw you like a rag-doll much more easily than you could beat up Anarkiddie.” 

“Yeah. Whatever.” Nazi tugged at his shirt collar. The thought of Commie throwing him around like a ragdoll was making him feel… _warm_. Maybe he was drunker than he thought. “You can shut up now.”

“I don’t think I will.”

“Why?”

“You clearly like it.” 

“No, I don’t. Why do you think I do?”

“You’re hard, Nazi.” Commie said smugly.

Nazi’s face turned red. “No, I’m not.” He backed away, but before he could go far Commie pressed his lips into his. He struggled to gain control of the kiss, but his efforts were to no avail as Commie attacked his mouth roughly with his tongue.

The tankie lifted him up, threw him over his shoulder, and carried him to his room. He dropped the white identitarian onto the floor. Nazi looked at him with both confusion and excitement as he squatted down to his level. 

Commie caressed his face and rested his thumb on his bottom lip. “Open your mouth.” He said in a low growl, and Nazi complied. Commie slid his thumb into his mouth and Nazi lapped at it, coating it in his saliva all while keeping eye contact. “Good boy.” He said, removing his thumb and standing back up.

“Have you done this before or are you just more degenerate than I thought?” Nazi asked while he watched Commie unbuckle his belt, unzip his pants, and finally untuck himself. 

“Of course I have. I’m not as repressed as you. Maybe you should see a therapist.”

“Fuck off.” Nazi pressed one of his hands against Commie’s hip and took half of his length into his mouth. He used his over hand to stroke the rest of it while he bobbed his head at a steady pace. 

“You’re doing good.” Commie praised him while he knocked Nazi’s hat off and tangled his fingers in his hair. “You’re doing _very_ good.” He said in a low growl as he pressed the white identitarian’s head down further. 

Nazi struggled to keep himself from gagging as he picked up his pace, eliciting a few moans from Commie. But, he did start gagging once the other authoritarian began to thrust into his mouth. He gripped Commie’s hips as his head was pushed and pulled faster and faster until Commie came into his mouth, letting out a breathy moan.

Commie pulled out and patted him on the cheek with a smile. “Swallow.” 

Nazi looked at him with an annoyed expression before taking his sensitive cock back into his mouth, overstimulating him and savoring the pained expression on Commie’s face. He was finally back in control; well, at least, he thought he was.

Commie pulled him away, panting while Nazi looked up at him and licked his lips with a look on his face that could only be described as sadistic. “God, you’re going to kill me.”

“You bet.” Nazi stood up but he was quickly pushed onto the bed. 

Commie ripped off both of their clothes, metaphorically? hyperbolically? and searched his room for lube. He coated his fingers and began to prepare Nazi. But preparing quickly turned into pumping his fingers in and out, teasing Nazi every time he brushed against his prostate and going from using one finger to using three.

“Fu—ck…” Nazi moaned. “Can you hurry up and fuck me?”

“You’re impatient.” Commie removed his fingers and inserted his cock after he stroked it back to hardness.

“God, you’re big!” Nazi groaned, trying to adjust to the feeling.

“Can you be a little more quiet? You know we are not the only ones home, right?” 

“I don’t fuckin—g care.” Nazi said while Commie thrusted into him. Doggy style has to be the most degenerate position in his opinion, but he didn’t feel like bringing that up. His face expressed pleasure and amusement, and he guessed that Commie was enjoying himself, too because of his low breathy moans. 

“God, I didn’t know you were such a faggot.”

“Be quiet.” Commie changed his position and pulled Nazi into his lap. The angle of his thrusts only made Nazi moan louder; Commie decided to fix this by covering his mouth with his hand, which the white identitarian desperately lapped at as he reached his climax. Commie came soon after and pulled out, breathing heavily. 

**_____**

Ancom woke up to the sound of knocking at their door. “What do you want?” They managed to ask while they recovered from the nineteen hour nap they were just woken up from.

They were greeted with Nazi’s smug face smiling at them in the doorway. “Hey, Ancom.”

“What?”

“I fucked your bitch.”

“Huh?”

“I just fucked your bitch, and he said I’m the best he’s ever had.”

“What?”

“You’re a cuck.”

“Nazi, you had sex with a guy?” 

“I had sex with your commie bitch.”

“That sounds kinda gay.” 

“What?”

“You had sex with a guy. That’s gay. You’re gay.

“No.”

“He put his dick in your ass, Nazi. That’s gay.”

“At least I’m not a cuck.”

Ancap joined Nazi. “Ancom, did he cuck you?”

“You bet I did.” 

“Oh shit. Cuck!” Ancap laughed and Nazi began to laugh as well.

“Cuck!”

Ancom had no idea how to respond. What were they supposed to say? What could they say? 

Nazi did it. 

He finally shut them up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pen ink is mostly non toxic so i know how im spending the rest of this quarantine shit


	4. ancap and ancom obliterate D.A.R.E. by being gay and doing copious amounts of drugs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> more libunity stuff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i had fun writing this because i can't take anything i write seriously so this chapter is very stupid  
> like this is very close to being a crack fic im surprised i haven't written one yet  
> but like this is just like 3 am humor and im pretty sure im the only one who finds it super funny  
> but prove me wrong

Ancom stretched and rolled out of bed. 

Today seemed like a good day to get high. 

_ Well, so did every other day, but this was a particularly good day. _

They dug through their stash and decided to just do everything. Well, not  _ everything _ . They would die if they did everything, so they just did everything that won’t kill them.  _ Can they even die?  _ Ancom shrugged at their own question and snuck out of the house before all the drugs they took kicked in.

They walked into the backyard and crawled onto their hammock. It was the best purchase they had made. Ancom closed their eyes as they felt their mind begin to slip. 

“Ancom.”

“Huh?” They opened their eyes slowly, letting them adjust to the afternoon light. Oh! It’s Ancap! “Hey, Ancap.”

“Ancom, where are the grapes?” 

_ Grapes?  _ Uhhh. “Uhmm.” Grapes grapes grapes. Where did I put the grapes? What even are grapes? Like, why are they called g r a p e s? are grapes real? mmmm frozen grapes would be good right now. Oh! “Freezer.” 

“You put an entire bag of grapes in the freezer?”

“Ratcore goblin culture. Frozen grapes. It’s praxis.” frozen grapes. god i want frozen grapes. can ancap give me frozen grapes? is ancap real??? He’s not a real anarchist so maybe he’s not really r e a l. 

Ancom reached out to touch Ancap’s face. They took off his sunglasses and smiled. Ancap’s eyes looked like a kaleidoscope with gold and amethyst shapes morphing and shifting in ways that they had never seen before. They giggled. 

“What are you doing?”

“Checking if you’re real or not.” 

“How high are you?

“5’8”

“Manlet.”

“Can you get the grapes out of the freeezerr?” grape

“Fine.” Ancap went back into the house and returned with the bag of cold grapes. 

“Oohhhhh yeaahhhhhhhhhh.” Ancom dug through their pockets and handed Ancap a million tiny bags with millions of tiny pills and tabs. “Here.”

“Is this how you’re paying me back?”

“Yep.” yesss grapess. 

“Aren’t half of these mine?”

“Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Just get high with me and eat the grapes.” Ancom said as they stuffed their face with cold grapes. fuck shit fuck shit too cold sensitive teeeeeeth. 

Ancap shrugged and sat down next to the hammock. 

Ancom smiled at him. The way the sunlight filtered through the leaves of the tree he was sitting under. It almost made him look like he was reflective, like a diamond. “You’re so pretty…”

“Really?” Ancap laughed. He didn’t think pretty was the best way to describe him.

“Mhm.” They slid out of the hammock and onto the grass. “Take off your stupid hat.”

“You’re pretty authoritarian today.”

Ancom pouted and knocked off his hat. “Why do you wear a fedora? It makes you look like a fucking neckbeard. Y’know, with an Isabelle amiibo cum jar.” 

“I’ll pretend you didn’t say that.” Ancom’s eyes kind of looked like a lava lamp. do people even buy lava lamps anymore? are they still cool? Should he be investing in lava lamps? maybe he should get a green one just for himself to remind him of how pretty Ancom’s eyes were at that moment. “Ancom, how many drugs am I on?”

“You don’t know?”

“Nope.”

“Then, I guess it’s not important.”

“I guess not.”

**_____**

Ancom opened their eyes to find out that it was dark. When did they fall asleep?  _ Eh, maybe that doesn’t matter.  _ Ancap was still there with them. 

The capitalist yawned. “You’re awake.” 

“What time is it?”

Ancap checked his watch. “Almost three a.m.” 

“We were asleep for twelve hours?”

“I think so. Maybe we should go inside.”

“No… I wanna stay like this.” Ancom rested their head against his shoulder and the two stayed like that in silence for a few moments. 

“Hey, Ancap?”

“What is it?”

“I’m really fucking horny.”

“What am I supposed to do about that?” Ancap said with a smirk.

“Yeah, that’s so funny. I’m laughing so hard right now. Can you hear how much I’m laughing? Wow, snake. You really outdid yourself with that one.”

“Sorry.” He laughed. “I guess I’ll help you out.” Ancap playfully pushed them onto the soft grass and pulled off their sweatpants and slid down his boxers. He then took off his own pants and untucked himself from his briefs. Ancap got on top of them and stroked their cocks together. Ancom reached down to help him. 

Ah yes. Mutual aid. 

Ancom’s breathing got heavier as Ancap sucked on and bit their neck. “Oh fuck… you’re good at this.” They moaned breathily. 

“Thanks.”

“That was a horrible response. I take back what I said.” 

“Yeah, okay. Can we try a different position?”

Ancom nodded and let out a small whine when his hand pulled away. 

Ancap moved onto his side so that they were spooning, sort of, and slid his dick between Ancom’s thighs. He slid his hand down to jack them off. Ancom kind of wished Ancap was fucking his ass instead of his thighs, but fuck did he know how to use his hands. 

“Oh, fuck.” Ancap was biting their ears, but was he also playing with their piercings? He was lightly tugging on their earrings and flicking his tongue. He picked up his pace and Ancom grinded against him until they both came. 

“I’m a golden god, right?”

“Goddamn it, Ancap. You can’t do shit like  _ that _ and then say shit like this.” 

“I’m like Eros, right? You’re an astrology bitch, right?”

“I’m going to beat your ass the minute I have my bat.” 

“I’m just joking.”

“Your jokes fucking suck.”

“Mhm, but it’s fun to see you so angry.” 

“Fuck off.” Ancom said as they snuggled closer to him. 

Ancap ran his fingers through their hair and smiled. “Yeah yeah.”

“I mean it.” They yawned.

“Of course you do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so   
> the frozen grape stuff  
> frozen grapes are wonderful   
> well not like frozen but just very very cold  
> the golden god eros stuff was me at peak stupidity and i refuse to apologize for writing it  
> i do what i want  
> my ears stopped ringing and im practically indestructible so fuck you i guess


End file.
